Building more Resilience

Resilience allows you to cope with setbacks and disappointments. A divorce, dismissal, the loss of a loved one or some other major grief is part of life and sooner or later you will encounter such experiences. How you deal with a setback or disappointment depends on your resilience.

Resilience ensures that no matter what happens, you recover. Sometimes even stronger or wiser than before. It means that you can handle difficult situations well and recover when something unpleasant happens. There is no such thing as a life without physical and emotional challenges. We all face things at times. As long as we can bounce back from it, there is no harm and it can even make life exciting.

A person's resilience only becomes apparent the moment he or she faces stress or setbacks. People who have experienced setbacks in their lives are often better able to overcome difficulties than people who did not face setbacks. Overcoming difficulties builds resilience, you learn how to stand up for yourself and what steps to take to get out of a difficult situation.

In preventing mental problems, such as depression, resilience plays an important role. You have much less risk of getting stuck because you can call on resources when you need them and not just muddle through.

If you want to become more resilient, consider these tips:

• Control and acceptance: Are you able to accept the course of life? Can you put your focus on what you do have control over and direct it?

• Positive self-image: Do you know where your qualities lie and how to use them for yourself?

• Curiosity and creativity: Do you dare to think outside your comfort zone and take challenging steps?

• Connectedness: Do you open up to others and openly discuss your concerns and difficulties?

• Optimism: Do you see light at the end of the tunnel and realise that a brighter time will come after the difficult time?

• Meaningfulness: Do something every day that gives you a sense of fulfilment and purpose. Set clear, achievable goals that help you face the future with meaning.

• Learn from your experience: Think about how you have dealt with setbacks in the past. Remember skills and strategies that helped you through difficult times.

• Healthy lifestyle: Eat healthy and ensure rhythm and regularity in your life. A good night's sleep makes you recover better physically and mentally. As a result, you process events and experiences much better.

If you have not developed enough resilience, you are vulnerable and prone to tension and stress. Characteristics:

• Passivity: takes little own initiative to solve the problem situation.

• Fear of rejection: does not dare to discuss difficult situations for fear of rejection.

• Blaming: blames others for the problems at hand, without taking responsibility himself.

• Low self-esteem: has a negative image of herself and therefore often on others.

• Fear of abandonment: is convinced that others will leave sooner or later anyway and cancels himself and thus his own problems.

• Unimportant: does not think himself to be important and therefore has the idea that it all makes no sense anyway.

• Unrealistic expectations: has too high demands, resulting in a lack of self-confidence.

• Resilience: has difficulty finding the balance between setbacks and windfalls. A windfall is great and a setback is misery.